Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Ok, ok - I know. I was supposed to run on Saturday. And when I didn't get up Saturday morning, I was supposed to run Sunday night.... I said to myself, "Self, you have two weekend days. It won't matter if you save it for Sunday." And besides, I had a Christmas Party to get ready for and blah, blah, blah......... The voice got me. That's all there is to it. The little voice WON! Damn that little voice.

So, I conquer the little voice and get up this morning only to realize I have bigger problems to deal with. Two of them as a matter of fact - my knees. They are killing me. I haven't run in four days, so one would think they'd be rested enough. Nope. I started my brisk walk this morning, ignoring the pain that my knees have been causing me all weekend. I was excited because the plan starts some REAL running today. I had no idea if I could hang. I was so ready. I started running..... OW. I stopped. I pushed the pain aside and started again..... Damn, this was NO joke! It hurt! I made it 10 minutes in a brisk walk around the neighborhood, and that's all I've got. When I started to come down the big hill in front of my house and almost fell, I knew I was in trouble. Blah. I came in and took some Ibuprofen.

I guess the plan is to take Ibuprofen and some Glucosamin/Chondroitin and try again on Thursday to see if that helps. If it doesn't, I'll be making an appointment with the doc to see if I have some fluid hanging out in there. Bummer.

There's nothing that pisses me off more than knowing that I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed, got psyched up to run, and couldn't do it. I'm not a girl that takes that very easily. I'll figure it out....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wheezin' and Breezin'

With every pound on the pavement, the cool, fresh morning air burns my lungs.... but it's a good kind of burn. It's a burn that makes me wonder why the HELL I ever smoked. I couldn't imagine the feeling of suffocation that smokers must feel when they are doing anything at all physical. I quit almost 10 years ago after starting the nasty habit only to miff my parents. Thank goodness that my friend Fuller (who I credit for my quitting 100%) said to me back then, "You're a real cute girl, but smoking makes you UGLY." Vain as any 20 year old is, it hurt my feelings and compelled me to quit. He didn't believe I could quit, and I'm a stubborn Taurus, so quit I did. Thanks for that Fuller... I owe you my health and well-being!

Now, also being a stubborn Taurus, I am HELL BENT on this running thing. I swear, I try to find ANY reason to stay in bed when that alarm goes off. This morning, I trudged to the 2 story foyer to look out the picture window, hoping beyond all hope that it was still raining.....yeah, it wasn't. So I forced my big butt into my running clothes and off I went. The Black-Eyed Peas urged me on this morning, telling me, "Harder, better, faster, stronger...." and I was like, HELL YEAH, and then promptly tweaked ankle. No matter, I kept going, fashioning an oh-so attractive gimp run and singing out loud, "We got the beat that pounds, we got the beat that pounds...."

Week 2 Day 2 down. The hills in my neighborhood are really killing me, but I assume that will make me tougher for wear when it comes to running the Peachtree..... There it is, I said it. My goal is to run the Peachtree on July 4, 2010. And really RUN it, not the half walking, half running crap. Hold me to it folks.

Have a great day, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Boogeymen dance in shadows carefully avoiding moonlit streaks of light, vampires and witches wait around the next dark corner laughing to see if I get close enough to touch.... No, not another book in the Twilight series folks, just my imagination reverting back to being 7 years old as I run through my neighborhood. It's amazing how your mind can get away from you as you run. I live in a beautiful, safe neighborhood. But even in my beautiful, safe neighborhood, boogeymen live in the shadows of the trees, and I high tail it past the dark corners like my ass is on fire. Maybe I'll bring the big dog out on Thursday morning and show the vampires and witches who's boss. Really, I bet Pate could lick them to death if I needed him to.

Week 2 begins. I bet you are oh-so surprised that I stuck with it! The routine changed up a bit as I begin running for longer stretches. It wasn't so bad. I thought it would be tough seeing as though I had a two day break, but I trucked on like a champ. I've decided I need new shoes. I've had the same running shoes for like two years....seriously. Maybe more. I think I got them before Harrison was born. Jeez. Three years? Four? I can't really remember, but I think it's definitely time. I owe my shins and ankles the favor. I buy them new shoes, and in return, they agree not to give out on me in the middle of my run. Pretty good deal, eh?

I'm off to the shower as to not offend my co-workers with the smell that is a runner's smell. Hopefully the rain that is expected tomorrow will taper off by Thursday morning so that little voice doesn't show up trying to get me to stay in bed. I will bring the PAIN to that little voice!!! Well, if it does rain, I guess I'll be doing laps in my basement. I haven't really thought of an inclement weather plan. I'll get on that.

Hasta la vista.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Technical Difficulties....

Not my pants this time. LOL. My headphones. Drove me crazy the entire run this morning. I bought these fantastic headphone/earwarmer thingys thinking that it would make life a little easier on frigid mornings. Worked like a charm - my ears were nice and toasty. Problem was, they didn't work with my IPhone! Damn things. I was obsessed with keeping them working the whole time.

It seems like my entire run is filled with a little voice somewhere in my head TRYING to talk me out of running. It first starts when the alarm goes off... "Ohhhhh the bed is so comfy and warm. You could always run in the evening....." Dragged myself out of bed. "Hmmmmm, these earphone thingys aren't working right, there's NO WAY you can run. Just walk the whole time, it'll be fine." Started jogging anyway. Tweaked my ankle a bit on the THIRD step from my driveway.... "Running will be IMPOSSIBLE! Better go back to the house..." Kept going and stuck with the schedule. It's a good thing that there's a bigger stronger voice that reminds me of my mission (being a skinny bitch of course!) when the saboteur shows up.

I'll admit, this morning was kind of rough. It was colder than a witch's boob doing push ups in the snow, and that kind of cold burns my lungs. My friends in the northern US and Canada, if you're reading this, YES, I'm a baby when it comes to cold. It was like, what, 36 degrees? My cold aversion is TOTALLY why I live in the south.

Week 1 of the program down. I can't believe I actually did it. Week 2 will beckon on Tuesday. Let's see if I can hang.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Full Moon!

I cannot, repeat, CANNOT stress the importance of wearing proper undergarments and pants whilst running. I'm a big girl. I wear big comfy pants. But, big comfy pants + running = a full moon in Smyrna this morning. As the eloquent Homer Simpson would say, "DOH!" Yet another reason why it is a VERY good thing I have decided to fight my battles in the secrecy of the dark at 5am. OK, 6am this morning, but it's Thanksgiving for pete's sake, cut me some slack.

Week 1 Day 2 surprised me. It felt EASIER. Well, minus the whole pants falling down thing anyway... Is that possible? I don't know. I wasn't quite as winded as I was just two days ago, but I also timed my running better so that the biggest hill in my neighborhood was during a walk set. I wanted to quit after 15 minutes today instead of 10. Hmmm. I'm going to chalk it up to the FACT that I'm a better runner on Day 2! Go Bacon Go!

In case you're curious, part of the soundtrack to my short jaunt? "Stranger than Fiction" by Bad Religion. Ya got THAT right!

Happy Thanksgiving all. Go for a short (or long) run and don't feel guilty about stuffing your faces.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh boy, it certainly isn't pretty.

Well, I did it. I willed myself out of bed at 4:58am, stretched for a good five minutes and ran for 20 minutes this morning. Well, not consecutively anyway, I followed the plan... http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
And I SO wasn't wrong. Running really IS the worst form of torture! I huffed and I puffed and I wheezed and I cussed.... It's a good thing that my neighbors seem to be just as lazy as I am, and most of the houses were dark with their inhabitors blissfully wrapped in down-comforter heaven. No, I'm not bitter. Not one bit.

I was, however, ready to quit 10 minutes in, with my lungs burning and my thighs rubbing together (they almost ignited and burned my pants off, I swear) when Train in Vain by the Clash came on my IPod Genius playlist... Coincidence? I think not. All of a sudden, running was singing to me... "You didn't stand by me. No, not at all. You didn't stand by me. No way." Jeez. Talk about a guilt trip. Then, the oh-so-not lost for words, Joe Strummer sang to me, "I need new clothes...." Well THAT did it. THAT'S the whole point right? I started to repeat in my head - skinny bitch, skinny bitch, skinny bitch- and my fat butt started running again.

Red faced and starving for oxygen, I made it back to the house. Maybe it's a REALLY good thing the only time to do this is 5:00am. Wouldn't want the neighbors to think I'm loony.

At any rate, Day 1 down. Rest tomorrow and then Thursday Day 2 will beckon at the crack of dawn. Off to kiss my husband and shower the road grime off of me... I'm a bonafide runner!

Monday, November 23, 2009

When Pigs Fly....

No. When Bacon runs.

"Running has got to be the WORST torture ever," Heather Bacon said as she watched skinny bitches run through wherever it is that skinny bitches run.

Who the hell is Heather Bacon? Well, that's ME. I'm pretty hell bent on proving that I can follow the Couch-to-5K program, http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml , become one of those skinny bitches myself AND do the impossible... turn into a runner. Is it possible? Maybe, maybe not. But I figure if I blog about it, and people actually start reading it, then I will be held accountable. Right? RIGHT.

Week 1 Day 1 begins tomorrow morning bright and early. Half the battle will be getting my big butt up and out of bed at 5:00am. I know, I know. 5:00am? Holy crapola that's early! But, with two kids (a three year old and an almost 4 month old) time is in short supply and that seems like the most feasible time period to start my mission. We'll see how it goes, and I'll definitely be blogging about it tomorrow.