Saturday, November 28, 2009

Technical Difficulties....

Not my pants this time. LOL. My headphones. Drove me crazy the entire run this morning. I bought these fantastic headphone/earwarmer thingys thinking that it would make life a little easier on frigid mornings. Worked like a charm - my ears were nice and toasty. Problem was, they didn't work with my IPhone! Damn things. I was obsessed with keeping them working the whole time.

It seems like my entire run is filled with a little voice somewhere in my head TRYING to talk me out of running. It first starts when the alarm goes off... "Ohhhhh the bed is so comfy and warm. You could always run in the evening....." Dragged myself out of bed. "Hmmmmm, these earphone thingys aren't working right, there's NO WAY you can run. Just walk the whole time, it'll be fine." Started jogging anyway. Tweaked my ankle a bit on the THIRD step from my driveway.... "Running will be IMPOSSIBLE! Better go back to the house..." Kept going and stuck with the schedule. It's a good thing that there's a bigger stronger voice that reminds me of my mission (being a skinny bitch of course!) when the saboteur shows up.

I'll admit, this morning was kind of rough. It was colder than a witch's boob doing push ups in the snow, and that kind of cold burns my lungs. My friends in the northern US and Canada, if you're reading this, YES, I'm a baby when it comes to cold. It was like, what, 36 degrees? My cold aversion is TOTALLY why I live in the south.

Week 1 of the program down. I can't believe I actually did it. Week 2 will beckon on Tuesday. Let's see if I can hang.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Full Moon!

I cannot, repeat, CANNOT stress the importance of wearing proper undergarments and pants whilst running. I'm a big girl. I wear big comfy pants. But, big comfy pants + running = a full moon in Smyrna this morning. As the eloquent Homer Simpson would say, "DOH!" Yet another reason why it is a VERY good thing I have decided to fight my battles in the secrecy of the dark at 5am. OK, 6am this morning, but it's Thanksgiving for pete's sake, cut me some slack.

Week 1 Day 2 surprised me. It felt EASIER. Well, minus the whole pants falling down thing anyway... Is that possible? I don't know. I wasn't quite as winded as I was just two days ago, but I also timed my running better so that the biggest hill in my neighborhood was during a walk set. I wanted to quit after 15 minutes today instead of 10. Hmmm. I'm going to chalk it up to the FACT that I'm a better runner on Day 2! Go Bacon Go!

In case you're curious, part of the soundtrack to my short jaunt? "Stranger than Fiction" by Bad Religion. Ya got THAT right!

Happy Thanksgiving all. Go for a short (or long) run and don't feel guilty about stuffing your faces.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh boy, it certainly isn't pretty.

Well, I did it. I willed myself out of bed at 4:58am, stretched for a good five minutes and ran for 20 minutes this morning. Well, not consecutively anyway, I followed the plan... http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
And I SO wasn't wrong. Running really IS the worst form of torture! I huffed and I puffed and I wheezed and I cussed.... It's a good thing that my neighbors seem to be just as lazy as I am, and most of the houses were dark with their inhabitors blissfully wrapped in down-comforter heaven. No, I'm not bitter. Not one bit.

I was, however, ready to quit 10 minutes in, with my lungs burning and my thighs rubbing together (they almost ignited and burned my pants off, I swear) when Train in Vain by the Clash came on my IPod Genius playlist... Coincidence? I think not. All of a sudden, running was singing to me... "You didn't stand by me. No, not at all. You didn't stand by me. No way." Jeez. Talk about a guilt trip. Then, the oh-so-not lost for words, Joe Strummer sang to me, "I need new clothes...." Well THAT did it. THAT'S the whole point right? I started to repeat in my head - skinny bitch, skinny bitch, skinny bitch- and my fat butt started running again.

Red faced and starving for oxygen, I made it back to the house. Maybe it's a REALLY good thing the only time to do this is 5:00am. Wouldn't want the neighbors to think I'm loony.

At any rate, Day 1 down. Rest tomorrow and then Thursday Day 2 will beckon at the crack of dawn. Off to kiss my husband and shower the road grime off of me... I'm a bonafide runner!

Monday, November 23, 2009

When Pigs Fly....

No. When Bacon runs.

"Running has got to be the WORST torture ever," Heather Bacon said as she watched skinny bitches run through wherever it is that skinny bitches run.

Who the hell is Heather Bacon? Well, that's ME. I'm pretty hell bent on proving that I can follow the Couch-to-5K program, http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml , become one of those skinny bitches myself AND do the impossible... turn into a runner. Is it possible? Maybe, maybe not. But I figure if I blog about it, and people actually start reading it, then I will be held accountable. Right? RIGHT.

Week 1 Day 1 begins tomorrow morning bright and early. Half the battle will be getting my big butt up and out of bed at 5:00am. I know, I know. 5:00am? Holy crapola that's early! But, with two kids (a three year old and an almost 4 month old) time is in short supply and that seems like the most feasible time period to start my mission. We'll see how it goes, and I'll definitely be blogging about it tomorrow.